Self-Esteem: How to Help Your Child Thrive
This article is a summary of recommended practices drawn from a series of in-depth articles I have published on the blog about Giftedness and the current state of knowledge. However, these tips are not just for gifted or high IQ children...
These children can sometimes be accompanied by various social or emotional issues, which can impact self-esteem. Gifted children may feel different from their peers, struggle with social integration, or feel pressured to be perfect, which can influence their self-esteem. Here is a list of recommendations that you can easily implement to help your child thrive while cultivating healthy self-esteem.
1. Value Effort Over Results
Children are often praised for their academic success or natural abilities. However, focusing solely on results can lead them to fear failure and develop debilitating perfectionism. Research has shown that it is important to value effort, perseverance, and the learning process in order to strengthen solid self-esteem. This helps the child understand that their worth does not lie solely in success but also in the commitment and work they put in.
Practical Tip: When praising your child, focus on the journey, the obstacles they have overcome, and the efforts they have made—in short, on the learning process rather than the final result.
2. Encourage Personal Passions and Interests
Gifted children may have multiple and varied interests, or they may be deeply focused on one particular subject. Encouraging your child to explore passions they have chosen themselves not only nourishes their intellect but also strengthens their self-esteem by giving them the opportunity to excel in areas they are passionate about. This can also help them develop their own identity, which is essential for personal growth.
Practical Tip: Help your child identify their passions and find activities or projects that allow them to explore these interests, whether at school or outside of it.
3. Foster Healthy Social Relationships
Gifted children and teenagers may sometimes feel isolated or misunderstood by their peers, which can affect their self-esteem. It is crucial to provide them with opportunities for socialization with peers who share similar interests or maturity levels. Group activities or clubs for high-potential children, for example, can offer an environment where they feel accepted and valued, and help them understand and appreciate the diversity of personalities, behaviors, values, and ideas of others.
4. Help Manage Intense Emotions
Gifted children are often emotionally sensitive and may experience emotions more intensely than their peers or siblings. Learning to manage these emotions is essential for maintaining healthy relationships as well as a beneficial sense of self-control. As a parent, you can help your child identify and express their emotions in a precise and healthy manner, and teach them emotional regulation techniques such as deep breathing, for example.
Practical Tip: Regularly discuss emotions with your child, help them name what they feel, and teach them techniques to manage stress and anxiety effectively.
5. Model Positive Self-Esteem
Children learn a lot by observing the adults around them. By demonstrating positive self-esteem, accepting your own mistakes, showing kindness, and setting an example, you provide a behavioral model that your child can adopt. It is important to show that self-confidence does not rely on perfection but on self-acceptance with all one's strengths and weaknesses—along with the understanding that personality and self-worth evolve throughout life as a result of experiences and emotions.
Practical Tip: Share your own experiences of success and failure with your child, and how you have learned to appreciate the learning process and value your efforts.
