Evening Homework Crisis? And... it's cool, it's helping?
Have you asked yourself what the benefits are for you, for your child, and even for the family atmosphere? For some parents, it satisfies their need for control, giving them the feeling that they are fulfilling their role, that it's their duty, their mission. They believe that if they let things slide, their child’s grades will plummet, leading to a snowball effect.
There’s social pressure on parents to invest in their child’s studies, and teachers often remind them of this. When a student has trouble focusing, it’s often blamed on the parents for being lax about screen time. I’m being somewhat ironic, but you get the idea.
For your child, it’s quick to become a source of anxiety. They gain no benefit from these interactions. They might even prefer boarding school to escape the constant pressure. And as for the family atmosphere, you already know how tense things can get, so let’s not dwell on it.
So, why persist in this negative, destructive routine day after day?
Today, I invite you to think about whether you can identify the key steps needed to break this cycle of control and lack of responsibility in your child’s specific situation.
If you’re out of ideas, you can always try my five-step solution to break free from it.
As with any change, there might be collateral effects, but given the current state of things... isn’t it time to restore autonomy, trust, and respect? Although these crises are linked to schoolwork, the emotions and meaning spill over into the rest of your family life.
You can break this cycle in five simple steps (but likely to assess upon situation feedback) :
- Stop micromanaging and policing their every move.
- Detach from grades as mere numbers. Instead, focus on explaining, evaluating the effort/result ratio, and recognizing visible effort.
- Have a deep, solemn conversation to restore a healthy relationship, ease interactions, and—most importantly—reposition responsibility: it’s now their problem.
- Set measurable goals together.
- Ask them only to talk about school or work if they’re encountering difficulties.
Yes, it might be scary, but maybe you’ve tried another solution that works? Feel free to send me a message or leave a comment.
If you manage to do this, you’ll finally have a break, be able to relax after work, talk about something other than school, and family interactions will calm down. Everyone will feel more in their place. Bonus: this context will also help you address other issues that might arise.
