The back-to-school parent-teacher meeting: “for” or “against”? No—the real issue lies elsewhere...

Every school year, the same scene repeats itself: a classroom, chairs that are far too small, a teacher delivering their speech… and parents quietly sitting, raising their hand when they have a question.

Some find it useful, others feel they’ve wasted two hours of their life—or simply don’t go.

So, should we defend or criticize these parent-teacher meetings?

At first glance, it might seem to be a question of their “practical value”: are they actually useful? Or the classic one: are children happy when their parents attend?

But we are on two very different levels.

The issue is not whether the meeting is “useful,” nor whether the child is happy.

The real question is: who has instrumentalized the child in this way?

What is the teacher constructing through that little note the child is asked to write for the parent who takes their seat in the classroom?

What is the symbolic meaning of this ritual?

We are no longer dealing with school information (in truth, there is none).

We are dealing with a staging that designates who the legitimate reference is, and that places the parent in a posture of submission—or of learner. And that deserves to be questioned.

On another level: who put what in the child’s mind so that they give more importance to this meeting than to their next game at recess?

If it truly comes from the child, why? What is at play here?

What is the child actually celebrating through this ritual?
Presence?
The feeling of being loved?
The filling of a lack (and where does this need come from, especially in this context)?

These back-to-school meetings are not mere information sessions. They crystallize implicit expectations, social roles, and a symbolic staging that deserve far more scrutiny than a simple “useful vs. useless” debate.

And you—what do you perceive behind these meetings? What emotions come up for you in that moment?