Positive Parenting: How to Set Limits Without Yelling

Setting limits is essential for a child's development, but how can it be done without yelling or imposing authoritarian discipline? Positive parenting offers solutions, but it also raises questions about balancing firmness with kindness.

One of the core principles of positive parenting is to set limits with respect and empathy. Jane Nelsen, in her book Positive Discipline, suggests setting boundaries by explaining the reasons behind them while maintaining a calm tone. For example, saying, "I know you're curious, but this object is fragile. You can look, but please don't touch," educates the child rather than controlling them. This method allows the child to understand the rules while respecting their need for exploration.

However, it is crucial to ask: Does the child truly understand the importance of boundaries if they are always presented gently? Is there a risk that the child might see these limits as negotiable? The challenge for parents is to find a middle ground between kindness and authority. It’s important to consider how far one can go with gentleness without losing the effectiveness of the established limits. This reflection is essential to adapt positive parenting to each situation.

References:

• Nelsen, Jane. Positive Discipline. Ballantine Books, 1981.
• Kohn, Alfie. Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason. Atria Books, 2005.
• Gueguen, Catherine. Pour une enfance heureuse: Repenser l’éducation à la lumière des dernières découvertes sur le cerveau. Robert Laffont, 2015.