HPI in Networking: "So, how’s work going these days?" The funny part comes next...

Most people in networking events—or any social gathering, really—ask questions out of politeness. Even when they already know you!

The truth is, they’re not actually expecting an answer. Well, maybe just a generic one like, "Oh, I’m swamped, it’s a nightmare, I can’t keep up." or "Yeah, things are good!"—some vague response that doesn’t really mean anything.

If you don’t reply, you’re rude. But if you answer with too much depth, it’s suddenly considered "weird."

So where’s the limit? What’s the right balance?

This dynamic plays out in so many social contexts.

A HPI might fall for their conversation partner’s Oscar-worthy performance and think: "Oh wow, someone who’s actually interested!" So they start talking—really talking. They explain their work, giving key context, maybe even touching on aspects of their personal life to make it all make sense.

And then? They’re met with that awkward pause, that slight shift in body language.

People say HPIs struggle with "social codes."

But isn’t pretending to care when you don’t actually care the real "weird" behavior?

Doesn’t that prove that it’s the social code itself that’s bizarre?

Why is it strange, suspicious, or inappropriate to answer a question with depth and enthusiasm?

Suspicious… because some people immediately jump to conclusions. The first being: "Oh, this person really needs to talk!"

Well, maybe they just want a conversation with someone who isn’t playing a role—which, let’s be honest, is most of the time.

So the real question is: Why are you asking questions you don’t actually want answers to?